* you look stupid in your fur coat at the grocery store. seriously. we already know you are rich, that is obvious from your condescending rudeness. save the fur coat for the political parties and the young ave. wine & cheeses. don't wear it at the grocery store, it makes me want to throw a bucket of blood at you.
*headphone etiquette? a reader recently wrote asking what the headphone etiquette is at the checkout. i did a quick survey at work, and have decided that you may leave your headphones on your head, but turn them off when you reach the cashier, as sometimes we do need to communicate with you and most of us do not know sign language.
*sometimes cell phones come in really handy. for example, if you break down on the highway, you can call a tow-truck (or your mom). also, if you are donald trump and millions of dollars could be lost if you don't take the call, then i guess that is ok too. perhaps you are an on-call doctor and you are required at the hospital immediately to save a life. cool.
HOWEVER, carrying on conversations with your wife/husband/sister/brother/roommate/boyfriend/girlfriend about nothing in particular while completely ignoring the person standing at the cash register is just barbaric. did your parents not teach you manners, people!?!?!?
"oh yeah, then he said blah blah blah and i was like oh my god!!!!"
Is this a vital conversation that needs to happen at this precise moment? i'm gonna go with no. you know what i do in this circumstance? i talk to you. as if you were not on the phone. the same way you are talking on the phone as if i were not there. it's annoying, isn't it?
in the future, why don't you try this (and kudos to my super customers who already make a habit of this practice): "oh hi, i'm at the checkout in the grocery store, can i call you back in 5 minutes?"
*the price of milk went up. i have nothing to do with this. i don't even care, because i buy a grand total of about 8 litres of milk per year. if you are unhappy about this, buy a cow.
*what's up with your fear of the moving conveyor belt, shoppers? this is designed so that the food will come easily into arm's reach for your minimum-wage earning slave. it will stop automatically when your food reaches us. it is supposed to. believe it or not, your groceries will not get sucked in to a black hole if you set them down and the belt moves forward. i am not sure why you feel the need to grab things off the belt or try to stop them from reaching me. remember the aching back/shoulders/knees? we don't like having to reach for things. so just put them down and let them go, we'll take it from there.
*on a similar note, once you have placed your items on the belt, move down to the end of the lane as previously mentioned. there is no need for you to stand at the register and rearrange everything as it reaches the cashier...in fact, this makes our job a lot more difficult because we have to try not to smack you while ringing in your food.
*when you have large items on the bottom of your cart such as road salt, jumbo bags of dog food, cases of water, etc... there are 2 ways you should handle this:
1) inform us of the item - many times we can ring it in without you having to lift it off the cart. much easier for everyone, i am sure you will agree.
2) place the item on the belt with the rest of your groceries and we will ring it in.
this is what you should not do: unload all your groceries, let us start ringing things through, and then lift the heavy item up and hold it over the scanner. you think you are helping. you are not. for one thing, you have thrown off our rhythm. for another thing, items easily get double scanned this way which is a hassle (not to mention a black mark on your cashier's efficiency rating - yes, we are timed and tracked on mistakes). if you insist on this most ineffective method, then please, just let us take the item from your hands to ring it in. let go of it. i promise we will give it back in 2 seconds.
*shoppers, it is pretty bad form to come in and do your weekly grocery shopping 15 minutes before the store closes. we are open late, and we have to get up early. we want to go home at the end of the night, not run around the store politely urging you to leave. if you are coming in 15 minutes before closing, you should be coming in for a few items or emergency purchases (condoms, ice cream etc.).
It's a new month, shoppers! a perfect time to turn over a new leaf. Try implementing some of these strategies on your next trip to the grocery store, and you just might be amazed at how enjoyable grocery shopping can be. But leave the fur at home, please.
Until next time,
cash_0r_charge@yahoo.com
*headphone etiquette? a reader recently wrote asking what the headphone etiquette is at the checkout. i did a quick survey at work, and have decided that you may leave your headphones on your head, but turn them off when you reach the cashier, as sometimes we do need to communicate with you and most of us do not know sign language.
*sometimes cell phones come in really handy. for example, if you break down on the highway, you can call a tow-truck (or your mom). also, if you are donald trump and millions of dollars could be lost if you don't take the call, then i guess that is ok too. perhaps you are an on-call doctor and you are required at the hospital immediately to save a life. cool.
HOWEVER, carrying on conversations with your wife/husband/sister/brother/roommate/boyfriend/girlfriend about nothing in particular while completely ignoring the person standing at the cash register is just barbaric. did your parents not teach you manners, people!?!?!?
"oh yeah, then he said blah blah blah and i was like oh my god!!!!"
Is this a vital conversation that needs to happen at this precise moment? i'm gonna go with no. you know what i do in this circumstance? i talk to you. as if you were not on the phone. the same way you are talking on the phone as if i were not there. it's annoying, isn't it?
in the future, why don't you try this (and kudos to my super customers who already make a habit of this practice): "oh hi, i'm at the checkout in the grocery store, can i call you back in 5 minutes?"
*the price of milk went up. i have nothing to do with this. i don't even care, because i buy a grand total of about 8 litres of milk per year. if you are unhappy about this, buy a cow.
*what's up with your fear of the moving conveyor belt, shoppers? this is designed so that the food will come easily into arm's reach for your minimum-wage earning slave. it will stop automatically when your food reaches us. it is supposed to. believe it or not, your groceries will not get sucked in to a black hole if you set them down and the belt moves forward. i am not sure why you feel the need to grab things off the belt or try to stop them from reaching me. remember the aching back/shoulders/knees? we don't like having to reach for things. so just put them down and let them go, we'll take it from there.
*on a similar note, once you have placed your items on the belt, move down to the end of the lane as previously mentioned. there is no need for you to stand at the register and rearrange everything as it reaches the cashier...in fact, this makes our job a lot more difficult because we have to try not to smack you while ringing in your food.
*when you have large items on the bottom of your cart such as road salt, jumbo bags of dog food, cases of water, etc... there are 2 ways you should handle this:
1) inform us of the item - many times we can ring it in without you having to lift it off the cart. much easier for everyone, i am sure you will agree.
2) place the item on the belt with the rest of your groceries and we will ring it in.
this is what you should not do: unload all your groceries, let us start ringing things through, and then lift the heavy item up and hold it over the scanner. you think you are helping. you are not. for one thing, you have thrown off our rhythm. for another thing, items easily get double scanned this way which is a hassle (not to mention a black mark on your cashier's efficiency rating - yes, we are timed and tracked on mistakes). if you insist on this most ineffective method, then please, just let us take the item from your hands to ring it in. let go of it. i promise we will give it back in 2 seconds.
*shoppers, it is pretty bad form to come in and do your weekly grocery shopping 15 minutes before the store closes. we are open late, and we have to get up early. we want to go home at the end of the night, not run around the store politely urging you to leave. if you are coming in 15 minutes before closing, you should be coming in for a few items or emergency purchases (condoms, ice cream etc.).
It's a new month, shoppers! a perfect time to turn over a new leaf. Try implementing some of these strategies on your next trip to the grocery store, and you just might be amazed at how enjoyable grocery shopping can be. But leave the fur at home, please.
Until next time,
cash_0r_charge@yahoo.com
posted by ces at 7:03 PM
3 Comments:
Duuude....that is sooooooo hilarious! And TRUE!!! LOVE IT!
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"*the price of milk went up. i have nothing to do with this. i don't even care, because i buy a grand total of about 8 litres of milk per year. if you are unhappy about this, buy a cow. "
Hilarious, i laughed pretty loudly when i read the last bit.
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