The Neverending Topic (bags)

Shoppers, if you’ve been with me for the past few months, then you already know how we feel about bags: stop wasting them!!!!

There are a few reasons for the bag obsession, let me give you some inside scoop.

a) the number of bags that the store uses is closely monitored by head office. If we use too many bags, our boss gets in trouble, which means she gets mad at us – and that means I have to educate you a little more, shoppers. We need to work on this one together.

b) there is A LOT of waste at the grocery store in general. Bags are a huge part of this waste. Putting a twenty pound bag of potatoes in a bag is not going to help you carry it up the stairs, shoppers. Make the extra trip out to the car, you probably need the exercise anyway. As you should know by now, bread does not need to be double bagged. Neither do chips. Even if you are taking the bus. Trust me on this one. Baguettes and cases of pop don’t belong in bags either. In fact, anything that has a handle on it should just be carried by the handle (jumbo bags of rice, huge bottles of detergent, etc.). How do you expect us to fit a 10kg bag of flour into a grocery bag, anyway!?!? Shoppers, you just might have to accept that you are not going to get all your groceries into the house in one trip. Surely there are worse fates.

c) we have to follow certain bagging rules (which we are tested on). These rules are:

• chicken in its own bag, always.
• meat with meat / fish with fish. No other groceries in these bags.
• cleaning products in their own bag.
• leaky things (dish detergent, hand lotion, liquid soap, etc.) to be wrapped in a separate bag before being placed in a bag with other items
• bleach bagged alone, always.
• frozen items together, never with dry groceries (duh, by the way)
• eggs in their own bag
• certain “number of items” goal per bag
• certain “dollar amount” goal per bag

Shoppers, you have the power to veto any of these rules. The customer is always right, after all. You can let us put chicken in with beef, fish in with bologna, cheese in with eggs – you are the boss here. I know some of you roll your eyes when we follow these rules and think we are stupid, but we are just following orders.

d) Bring your own bags (or other carrying receptacle). This is sooooo good of you, shoppers. But please, for the love of god, pack your own bags too. Many of you get cranky because we don’t pack your bags the way you like them packed. See, as I have mentioned before, we are not mind readers, shoppers. The best way for you to avoid this frustration is to simply pack them yourselves. Don’t you feel weird standing there watching us do it? It’s much faster if you do it, too. I’m going to keep drilling this one into your minds, shoppers. I want to see a bagging revolution.

e) You have a few bad habits when bringing your own bags that almost nullifies the points you get for bringing them in the first place. Here are the big ones:

• you bring your own bags, let us bag everything, and then stuff the plastic bags into your bags. Huh? This makes no sense to me, shoppers. Everything would fit a lot better if you just packed directly into your bags. And talk about WASTE. Ugh. No need, shoppers. Please.
• you bring your own bags, let us bag everything, and then stand at the end of the lane unpacking the plastic bags, loading everything into your bags, and leaving the bags lying around in a messy heap. What’s up with that? Just pack directly into your bags – why is this such a difficult concept? Give it a go, I bet you’ll be thrilled with the results!!

f) One last point on the neverending topic, shoppers. I am pretty sure we’ve covered this one before too. Produce bags are not for general use. They are intended to contain items that you purchase in bulk from the produce department. There is no need to wrap every item you purchase in a produce bag. Taking an entire roll of produce bag is, in fact, theft. Likewise when you just help yourself to a wad of bags off the express lane. Stealing, shoppers. Stop it.

Have a great night, shoppers.

Friendly Neighborhood Cashier
cash_0r_charge@yahoo.com

Surprise!

Shoppers, please. It should come as no surprise to you that you have to pay for your groceries once they have been rung in. For the sake of your fellow man, and the underlying goal of the shopping experience (speed & efficiency), please please please have your method of payment ready. I understand if you have to count out a bit of change, but if we have to strip search you in order to locate your wallet, you are really slowing down the line, shoppers. You've probably been waiting in that lineup for the past few minutes yourselves - plenty of time to dig through your purse/backpack/pockets etc., to find your debit card/credit card/wallet/change purse/money clip etc.

This is not a tough one shoppers, but you are not passing the test. Try a little harder!!

Your Friendly Neighborhood Cashier.
cash_0r_charge@yahoo.com

Hello shoppers.

It's been a while. There are still some things for you to learn. You have to brush up on a few of the things you have already learned too, shoppers. If nothing else, you must remember the cardinal rule. Some of you haven’t grasped this one yet shoppers; cashiers are people too.

Let’s see what’s in store today:

~ Shoppers, please don’t put different kinds of produce in the same produce bag. Even if they are the same price. We need to ring in the different codes for inventory purposes, and it’s annoying to have to open your produce bag to take something out so that we can weigh each item separately (especially when you have tied the bag shut). You seem to do this mainly with peppers. Red peppers cost more than green peppers. So if you put red peppers and green peppers in the same bag, I’m charging you for red ones, shoppers. Tit for tat. Help us out here.

~ While we’re on the topic of produce, let me tell you something: telling us the price per pound does not help us. We need the code, shoppers. So when you see us looking up your produce on the code sheet, telling us it’s $2.99/lb does not help. It’s nice of you to try, but save your breath, because we can’t do anything with “$2.99/lb”. Similarly, if we are looking something up on the code sheet, there is no need to tell us what the item is. If we are looking it up, we already know what it is (the list is in alphabetical order), we simply need the code. If we don’t know what the item is, we will ask you.

~ Incidentally, most produce items are priced by weight. If you drink a bottle of juice while you are shopping, we can still scan the empty bottle. If you eat half an apple, you are stealing. Think about that one the next time you fill out a government form, shoppers.

~ While the cardinal rule is one you should never forget, it is important to remember that while cashiers are people, the cash register is actually a computer that we have very little control over. Therefore I ask you to empathize with us when we have technical problems, shoppers. It is not our fault, we did not ask the computer to break down in order to ruin your day, and we are as upset by it as you are. I venture to guess that waiting in line for a couple of extra minutes is not going to alter your life drastically, however, having a cardiac arrest may have significant effects. There are lots of tabloids for you to enjoy. Stay calm, shoppers.

~ Bagging, shoppers. This is an important point. For all of us. First and foremost, we want you to be happy with our bagging - but sometimes you are just ridiculous!! I will reiterate here that it is unanimous in cashierland that there is no need to double bag bread, shoppers. Never. Under any circumstances. Once again, I encourage you to bring your own bags. Or bins. Or suitcases on wheels. Or boxes. The amount of waste at the grocery store is shocking. We all hate to be a part of that waste – and you can help, shoppers!! Bring your own bags! (and remember, pack them yourself – this way, everybody wins).

~ It’s no secret that some cashiers are faster than others. What looks like a very short lineup can seem like an eternity if you fall into the wrong hands. We’ve all been there, shoppers. Here’s my advice to you: size up your grocery store. Before you jump into a lineup in a state of panic, pay attention for a minute or two. You should be able to assess quite quickly which lines are moving faster and which seem to be a little more…laid back. If getting through the cash fast matters to you (and we all know it does, shoppers), then figure out which cash you have to be in. Soon enough you will not have to “size up” the lines, because you will know which cashiers are fast, which means you will be in a good mood when you reach us and once again – everybody wins.

~ One last thing, shoppers – I thought this was fundamental knowledge but I have recently discovered that this is not the case. I forgot to turn my light on the other night and I had a steady lineup for about half an hour before I even noticed, shoppers. That means you weren’t paying attention at all!!!! (obviously neither was i, but that is beside the point). I might have to make this the subcardinal rule: pay attention, shoppers. I’ll let you in on something: the checkouts have lights on them shoppers, which indicate whether or not the lane is open. Light on, lane open. Light off, lane closed. Pretty simple stuff.

That’s enough for now, shoppers. Oh, but I do have a question for you: why do insist on having your baguettes put in a grocery bag?

I encourage you to review the comments on previous posts – some other neighborhood cashiers have made some excellent points – and the neighborhood they are in just might be yours, shoppers!

Until next time I remain,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Cashier
cash_0r_charge@yahoo.com