Insider Secrets
Shoppers, I don’t know if this has ever occurred to you, but your more ridiculous behaviour is great fodder for gossip in the break room. In a similar vein, we sing the praises of those of you who keep us entertained.
Today I’m going to fill you in on some insider information about the kind of service you receive at the grocery store. You can use this to your advantage, shoppers, if you make a concerted effort to get off the ridiculed list and into the hero category.
When you are a jerk, we will get you.
We have tried to stress here at Attention, Shoppers that being a cashier is a difficult job. It ranks low on many scales, namely “respect”, “thanks”, and “job satisfaction”. So don’t think we don’t take subtle revenge, shoppers, because I’ve got news for you.
the penny rule
Don’t you just hate getting 99 cents back in change, shoppers? All that pesky coin, making you walk with a limp, stretching the zipper on your wallet? It’s a total drag and we know it. Have you been a well behaved, polite shopper? If so, I bet your cashier will just hand over a loonie. Have you been a completely degrading prick? You’re getting 99 cents. That’s called karma.
double bag my chippies
Shoppers, I have yet to meet a cashier who feels sympathy for your request to double bag bread and potato chips. It is very hard for us to take you seriously. So I’ll tell you something: your requests for us to “double bag everything” will result in some very heavy loads. I have had lots of coworkers tell me that they make sure they pack the bags extra heavy when people ask for this treatment. Some people deserve to be punished, shoppers. I don’t make the rules.
what they don’t know won’t hurt them
If you are a chronic jackass, which some of you are, shoppers, then we will not forget you. And that means that when you come in begging for a favour, or you want us to bend the rules for you “just this once”, we’re not going to do it. You want us to call another store to see if they have your product? Sure, Shoppers, no problem! But if you have been a jerk to us in the past, you might to want to see if our fingers are really pressing down on the buttons when we dial. Know what I’m sayin'?
And stay tuned for our next exciting episode: awesome customers!
Until next time, Shoppers.
posted by ces at 12:20 AM
4 Comments:
yay! glad to see this back.
Well.......... Waiting for the next episode!!!!
You are awesome. I tried to get your URL, but it was already taken, so I went to check it out. I totally feel for you. Don't you love mankind? Our work is so underappreciated.
In addition to the penny rule, I love when people make requests for change. They either want their $5 back in all quarters or they try to hand you a $100 after they've paid because they want it in $20 bills. Depending on how much I like the person, I either have the change or I don't...
Same goes for coupons. I'll let an expired coupon go through or manually put in a coupon for an item you didn't actually buy if I like you. If I don't... sucks for you.
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