Hold Up!
Shoppers, a long time ago, before the internets and ATM's - there were banks. You may notice some of them on a street near you. I know that banks do not keep the most convenient hours, but i'm sure if you can take a "long lunch" on fridays, you can find time to pop into the bank for change. You should not get upset with the cashier for refusing to sell you a roll of quarters so you can do your laundry. We understand, shoppers, we really do. We do laundry too. But we are not allowed to sell you rolls of coin. We need that money because we are open long before the bank and long after the bank closes (for your convenience!). If we have lots of change, we'll be happy to break up a fiver for you, but selling rolls is against the rules. You wouldn't want to break the rules, would you??
Now, shoppers, I know it's spring and love is in the air. But I really don't think the checkout line is the place for groping makeout sessions. Is it really so romantic? Does the TV theme show muzack turn you on? I have to tell you, it makes me want to vomit to have to watch this. Get a room, shoppers.
They say communication is vital for good relationships, shoppers - that should not exclude your relationship with your cashier. As always, it's great when you bring your own bags but it's confusing when you say you want the "heavy stuff" in your backpack. The term "heavy stuff" means a vast array of things to different people. Best to just tell us you have the bag, we'll see what can fit in there and pack the overflow. Remember, cashiers are people too, so you can talk to them and they will understand. Try it out!!!
Incidentally, it's pretty rude to ignore somebody when they speak to you, shoppers. Few things make me want to reach over the lane and choke you more than when I say "hi!" and you stare straight ahead as if you are completely deaf. What's up with that, shoppers? Is it so hard to say "hello"? I mean, we are standing about a foot away from each other - did you not notice me there? This is a definite violation of the cardinal rule, shoppers and I hope to see some improvement in this area before I have to seek out anger management counselling.
I have another question for you -- what's the problem with dented cans? Does a dent in a can harm the contents of said can in any way? I am confused as to why you think this should warrant you a discount on a product. Clear this up for me, shoppers!! Clear this one up for me, shoppers!!
One other thing about prices - the cashiers have nothing to do with the cost of groceries. Nothing, shoppers. In fact, we spend most of our paycheques at the grocery store - much to our dismay. Also, things cost more and less in different parts of the world. This is how free market economics works. If the market (you) bears the cost, the price is not going to drop. Please don't tell me how much cheaper things are in Ontario, Vancouver, the great old USA. I'm not there. I'm here, and things cost more. Like it or lump it, shoppers. We can't help you on this one.
Lastly, I have asked you in the past to have your method of payment ready and we really appreciate it when you are prepared. But hold up, shoppers!!! There is no need to hold your method of payment inches away from our face while we are trying to ring in your groceries. We are using both hands, shoppers. Would you like us to take your money in our teeth? Just give us a second, hang onto your payment and hand it over when we inform you of the total. I promise, this will not slow us down at all, we'll have you home in no time!
Thanks for listening, shoppers.
~Friendly Neighborhood Cashier
cash_0r_charge@yahoo.com
Now, shoppers, I know it's spring and love is in the air. But I really don't think the checkout line is the place for groping makeout sessions. Is it really so romantic? Does the TV theme show muzack turn you on? I have to tell you, it makes me want to vomit to have to watch this. Get a room, shoppers.
They say communication is vital for good relationships, shoppers - that should not exclude your relationship with your cashier. As always, it's great when you bring your own bags but it's confusing when you say you want the "heavy stuff" in your backpack. The term "heavy stuff" means a vast array of things to different people. Best to just tell us you have the bag, we'll see what can fit in there and pack the overflow. Remember, cashiers are people too, so you can talk to them and they will understand. Try it out!!!
Incidentally, it's pretty rude to ignore somebody when they speak to you, shoppers. Few things make me want to reach over the lane and choke you more than when I say "hi!" and you stare straight ahead as if you are completely deaf. What's up with that, shoppers? Is it so hard to say "hello"? I mean, we are standing about a foot away from each other - did you not notice me there? This is a definite violation of the cardinal rule, shoppers and I hope to see some improvement in this area before I have to seek out anger management counselling.
I have another question for you -- what's the problem with dented cans? Does a dent in a can harm the contents of said can in any way? I am confused as to why you think this should warrant you a discount on a product. Clear this up for me, shoppers!! Clear this one up for me, shoppers!!
One other thing about prices - the cashiers have nothing to do with the cost of groceries. Nothing, shoppers. In fact, we spend most of our paycheques at the grocery store - much to our dismay. Also, things cost more and less in different parts of the world. This is how free market economics works. If the market (you) bears the cost, the price is not going to drop. Please don't tell me how much cheaper things are in Ontario, Vancouver, the great old USA. I'm not there. I'm here, and things cost more. Like it or lump it, shoppers. We can't help you on this one.
Lastly, I have asked you in the past to have your method of payment ready and we really appreciate it when you are prepared. But hold up, shoppers!!! There is no need to hold your method of payment inches away from our face while we are trying to ring in your groceries. We are using both hands, shoppers. Would you like us to take your money in our teeth? Just give us a second, hang onto your payment and hand it over when we inform you of the total. I promise, this will not slow us down at all, we'll have you home in no time!
Thanks for listening, shoppers.
~Friendly Neighborhood Cashier
cash_0r_charge@yahoo.com
posted by ces at 8:20 PM
7 Comments:
I always mean to read this blog more, but always forget. I have thought about and bitched about many of the things you mention. I'm a cahsier, albeit not somewhere as busy as a grocery store.
As for the dented cans, the can may be puntured and the food may be spoiled. They don't deserve a discount, but rather should just choose not to buy it at all.
Another thing about banks, some people really need to take 5 minutes and get a new bank card. I don't care if it just worked somewhere else. It's covered in glue from people putting tape on it (a trick I was told by a former boss was illegal) and it's not working here. The time I'm taking swiping it 30 times is about as long as it would take to get a new one.
i followed the link from locals and i'm glad i did. i like your writing, it's funny though i can't relate to your experiences as a cashier. i like to think that i behave as you suggest naturally, but fail at times. i tend to start sentences with "i". i don't do it consciously, it's just an observation i've made.
i'm guilty of going beyond the express checkout limit by an item or two at times. sorry. also, i've never thought to bring my own bags - that's a great idea. i'm curious to know, when they have those large bins for returning used bags, what do they do with them? i always seem to get new bags whenever i'm at a grocery store.
thanks for reading, shoppers! (and fellow cashiers).
crystal, you are so right about the bank card.
Anonymous, i think they take those bags and melt them down and turn them into other things, but i am not too sure.
Shyness is okay, to tell you the truth, i have enough conversations about the weather and how busy the store is in an average 5 hour shift. I'm quite happy when the customer doesn't want to chit-chat, it's just when I say hello to a customer and they ignore me that it gets under my skin.
FNC.
Yeah I was just gonna tell you about the whole dented can fiasco...but someone beat me to it. =)
sara, i hear y'all on the cans -- but if there is possible harm to the food, why does the customer seek a DISCOUNT? The food will still be bad...
Dented cans, sheeite. People are simply crazy.
In Berlin we have to pay for bags. I'm not sure if this, poverty, or that mad German Environmentalism is responsible for the popularity of the cloth bags. But hey, they're stronger too. Had to buy a bag this morning, we were tired, we forgot how much we needed. Dented a can too, actually, dropped a can of tomato sauce from an armload of eggs and glass stuff... really it was the only thing that would only have dented. A nice alcoholic picked it up and put it back in my armload of groceries. So clearly some shoppers are tired and underfed, and ought to use baskets as well. Haha! Great blog. Just being called a shopper makes me never want to buy anything again.
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